I've Been Exposed.

 

No more anonymity at work.

I walked in to the work kitchen today with three trays of these sorry looking cookies, hoping once again to be the "Baking Fairy" because, while they tasted good, they were just so ugly that I didn't want to claim them.  [Update:  I just learned I had a nickname -- "The Dessert Ninja!"  LOL!]

But guess what -- I had a mini-mob waiting.  People I've never seen - people whose names I did not know - shouting out my name.  I was overwhelmed.  I was hearing "Those snickerdoodles last week were off the hook!"  "Those strawberry cupcakes were amazing."  I nearly cried.

And then I had to unveil these misshappen pale blobs to awaiting fans.  Good god.  I was mortified.

Of course, all the peeps were totally lovely, saying that they looked great. All I could think about was The Mayor's comment that they looked like boobs.

And then, like a swarm of locusts on a field of corn, the cookies were consumed within minutes.  It must have been a record.  There was nothing left in the trays.

I am so appreciative of their enthusiasm, but I now feel that  -- I need to provide them with something more attractive.  I felt that while I was anonymous, I could drop them off and people wouldn't have any expectations... now, I'm "The Town Tart, Bringer of Cupcakes on Mondays and Cookies on Fridays!"

Which brings me to this damn recipe, and all others like it.  I am declaring war on Finicky.

I don't want to deal with finicky recipes.  I don't want to read "it's okay if the dough is a bit sticky.  Just stick in the freezer along with the baking sheets and chill for 15 minutes.  Meanwhile, separate the dough into eighths, and refrigerate the dough while you are working on one piece."

Bah.  Screw that.

I want cookie dough that I don't have to worry about.  I don't want cookie dough that I have to treat like a baby or a man or a boss.  I got enough of that.  I want simple, honest, cookie dough without this finicky crap.

And finicky is what I got with this recipe for Pennsylvania Dutch Soft Sugar Cookies.  Once again, like the Snickerdoodles, but even worse -- this dough was impossible to work with.  It literally had to be chilled overnight, scooped, froze, flattened, chilled again, keep the rest of the dough frozen while you work.  Oh, and still get results like I got?  No thanks.

So, I am done with finicky.  If a recipe tells me I need to do more than mix, shape, bake, cool, then eat, I'm not doing it.

So there.

And to my work peeps, better cookies and cupcakes are a-comin... I hope. :)

Comments

[julia]

They do look like boobs, although I wouldn't have thought of it. I needed The Mayor to make that observation for me! In any case, I LOVE sugar cookies -- I'm sure they were delicious!

[Krissy]

TT,

I think my first post went into Cyberspace. Anyway, these cookies look great! Shucks that you were exposed because half the fun was probably sneaking in and leaving the trays! Oh well. What was on top of the cookie? A raisin, a blueberry? They looked great!

Have you heard from M or J about our trip?

[The Town Tart]

Jules: They were actually really good. They were cake-y, like a Black and White, not grainy like a regular sugar cookie. But too much damn bother, altogether!

Krissy: I know, it was half the fun. Now, the truth is out. Someone even bought me a cupcake today as a thank you. Can you believe it? On top of the cookie was a dried blueberry. The recipe called for raisins, but I am not a fan. I thought about putting a dried cranberry, but then they would REALLY look like boobs! :)

And no -- haven't heard from neither M nor J. You see J -- shake her tree. I will email all again! We'll get this done!

[Margot]

I can't wait to try more!!!!

[Maya]

Get ready -- Loosen your belt, Margot! :)

[Don Speranza]

Just name them as the Italians do..."Brutti ma Buoni" ...ugly but good.